Lick My Face

It started with a tingling on my lip. I've never had a cold sore in over half-a-century of living, but I'd read about them, and what I felt was classic cold sore symptom. A couple of days later, a patch under my eye, on the same side of my face, starting hurting. Then my cheekbone -- again, the same side of the face -- then yet another patch under the same eye.

I mentioned something on my crit group loop, and one woman said, GET THEE TO A DOCTOR. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE SHINGLES.

What? I thought this excrutiatingly painful disease only happened on one's torso. I did a little online research -- and called my doctor's office 4 minutes after they opened the next morning. You see, if shingles erupt on your face and get into your eye, they can blind you.

I kept hoping that I didn't have it. I work with four pregnant women. Besides, I wasn't in PAIN. Yeah, the patches alternate between tingling, numbness, and itchiness -- with periodic needle-like jabbing. And altho' the latter is definitely uncomfortable, it's not excrutiating. I remember my grandmother's bout with shingles (on her torso and breasts), and it wasn't pretty. At all.

Diagnosis: 90-95% certain I have shingles. Can't test me, because I'm not "weepy" (i.e. oozing pus). I'm on anti-viral meds that make me sleepy. I went to an ophthamologist a day or two later. The disease isn't in my eye.

I'm also not contagious unless I start "weeping", or (as the doctor said) someone licks my face.

Of course, one of my crit partners immediately quipped that she'd planned to lick my face at crit that very week and now she was disappointed.

Trying to joke with one of my pregnant co-workers, I said, "I know the temptation is great, but refrain from licking my face." This was greeted with blank stares. (I work with very nice people, but I have yet to find any kind of common ground with them, including my admittedly whacked, off-the-wall humor.)

There is a bonus to all of this: I have an excuse not to wear makeup.